It begins with an email to friends.
"What do you put in a blog? What would you call it? How do you sum it up?"
What you get in return is of varying benefit.
"Call it Baker’s Dozen, but you can only write 13 lines a day! No, call it My Way."
"Are you going to write about the time when I [insert embarrassing story]?" No, but it’s in The Vault for future blackmailing opportunities.
Friend Tom gives me a crash course in blogging: “How about something like this...
“Tony Blair eh? He thinks he’s so great. Hah! So what Mr Tony Blair, that’s what I think of you. And what about Neighbours, rubbish, they can’t act. I liked it best when Bouncer was it in. And what’s with toasters? I made toast this morning. Somebody in work said to me: ‘What about that George Bush?’. David Beckham with all that money he could afford a stick to throw to his wife, I mean a bone to eat. She is a stick, haha! Then the car wouldn’t start, rubbish cars but buses are worse and as for trains, well don’t get me started and then...�
It’s brilliant. In a paragraph he’s ripped my blogging dreams to pieces and left only the tatters of incomprehensible thoughts and maddened witterings on the page.
But that’s probably the best way to go. Tear up the template and create something fresh, something that could change the world.
Cue my feverish brain, hear cogs whir into action, see grotesque pixies get to work oiling the machine that will win my future conquests.
It will be called ‘On the Waterfront’, I will beat them, beat them all, those corrupt city gargoyles. No, better still, I shall call it simply, 'The Runk'; runk being a word I coined to describe base and despicable things. I could even set myself a goal to get the word 'runk' into the Oxford English dictionary.
“How's this...
The Runk:
Waterloo-based journalist, Paul Baker, is a modern chronicler of all things base and despicable - things he calls 'runk'.
He likes to think of himself as an questing bohemian, spending his days fighting the purveyors of all things rank and funksome, while putting the world to his aesthete sword.
Join him as he wades through this thing we call life, this city we call home, and all things 'runk'!�
I actually emailed it out to people for their opinions. Hours later I wept openly with delirious laughter as I read it back.
“Yeah, maybe I’ll tone it down a little.�
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Matt wrote...
This blog made me laugh, I'm looking forward to the next one. At last we have an anti-runk champion!
Posted by: Matt | February 28, 2007 9:42 AM